It's A Sign
by Red Witch
Summary: It's the latest craze at the Xavier Institute: Mutant Astrology! And Xavier isn't the only one getting a headache from it!


**It is written in the stars that I don't own any X-Men Evolution or GI Joe characters. Well I got the idea for this little fic from my other fic, 'All's Fair in Love and War'. You really should read it if you haven't. But if you have…**

**It's a Sign**

Hank was walking by the kitchen when he heard Bobby's plea. "But why won't you go out with me?" 

"Sorry Bobby," Tabitha said. "I'm a Sun sign and Sun and Wave signs don't mix." 

"How could I be a Wave sign?" Bobby snapped. "My powers are ice based! Not water!"

"Ice is just frozen water stupid!" Tabitha groaned.

"So are you telling me that there isn't any sign for ice at all?" Bobby looked at the book on the table. "What a gyp!" 

"What on earth are all of you talking about?" Hank finally asked.

"It's this Mutant Astrological Book Trinity put together for us!" Tabitha explained. "It's way cool!" 

"Mutant what?" Hank asked.

"Mutant Astrology," Tabitha explained. "It's based on what powers a mutant has and can help predict your fortune as well as help compare couples compatibility."

"Let me get this straight," Hank took the book from her. "You two are discussing the possibility of a relationship based on a fictitious astrological chart that Trinity cooked up? I find that quite illogical."

"Who are you Spock from Star Trek?" Tabitha cocked her head. 

"I'm just saying that if you look at it from a rational point of view it does seem quite…well silly," Hank told her. "I mean really now, who would believe something like this?"

"I am so glad I am not a Moon type," Amara said as she walked in with Kitty and Kurt. "Then I wouldn't have problems like you Kitty." 

"Oh for the love of Mike," Hank rolled his eyes. "Let me guess, you are all talking about Trinity's latest project?"

"It's not just a project Mr. McCoy," Kitty said. "This stuff really works. And for your information being a Moon type does not automatically mean that all my romances are headed for disaster!"

"No just the ones with Mountain and Gold types like Lance and Peter," Kurt told her. "What's about me? I know I'm a Beast type."

"Actually according to this Kurt teleportation comes under the Shadow sign," Kitty pointed to her copy of the book. 

"You're a combination type," Amara said. "Beast-Shadow."

"There are combination types?" Hank looked at her.

"Of course there are," Kitty gave him a look that meant _duh_. 

"Hey look at this," Kurt pointed. "Non mutant humans are divided into two types. Espers, humans that have special abilities but no X-Gene are the Halo type and regular humans are the Heart type. But both are extremely compatible with Beast types!" 

"See that Kurt," Kitty said. "You and Amara are like totally meant to be together!" 

"Are you people listening to yourselves?" Hank asked, exasperated. "I admit there are some interesting coincidences but really. I thought you kids were smarter than that!" 

"Hey according to this Beast types and Wind types are also compatible!" Amara pointed out. 

"Yeah!" Kitty said. "Mr. McCoy you would be like so compatible with Storm!" 

"Weather control does go under Wind," Tabitha said. 

"You should ask her out!" Amara said. 

"Oh that would be so cool!" Kitty squealed. 

"Now wait just a minute," Hank held up his hand. 

"I mean think about it," Kitty said. "You both like classical music and gourmet food."

"Yes but…" Hank started. 

"Yeah and you both read all those big books with the really long words written by those dead authors," Bobby said. 

"Yes but…" Hank kept trying.

"But what?" Tabitha asked. "I say go for it big guy!"

"It says here the best time for a Beast type to start a new romance is under a full moon," Kurt pointed. "That's in a few days! What are you going to say?"

"How about I am out of here," Hank moaned as he backed away. "Oh your book…"

"Keep it," Tabitha waved. "You're gonna need it if you're gonna win Storm's heart!"

"Who's gonna win Storm's heart?" Ray walked in.

"Mr. McCoy!" Kitty squealed. "He's going to ask her on a date!"

"I am not!" Hank snapped.

"Why not?" Ray asked. "She's a Wind type, you're a Beast type. What's the problem?" 

"Okay I am out of here," Hank could not get out of the kitchen fast enough. He went down to the study for a meeting with Xavier and Logan. "Well here I am for our weekly curriculum meeting."

"Ororo will be here in a little bit," Xavier told him. "She's just checking on some of the other student's projects." 

"Well I'm afraid that the students are a bit more interested in a little project of their own," Hank told them. 

"What do you mean?" Logan asked. He pointed to the book. "What's that?" 

"It's the latest craze among the students," Hank showed him the book. "Mutant Astrology. Trinity created it and the children have taken to it like the proverbial ducks to water."

"Mutant Astrology?" Xavier raised an eyebrow. 

"Apparently it is based on what a mutant's powers are," Hank told him. "Those powers tell you what sign you are and not only predicts fortunes but compatibility with other signs." 

"Are you saying our students actually believe in this garbage?" Logan asked.

"It appears so," Hank said wryly. "Some of them are planning on a little bit of matchmaking because of it." 

"Let me see this," Logan looked at the book. "Beast types, Fire types….Fortunes, How to Win the Love of Your Life…This is the biggest bunch of hooey I've ever read!" 

"It does seem rather nonsensical," Xavier grinned. "However our students are not as gullible as you believe. This seems to be rather harmless fun."

"Charles, I'd like to have a word with you," Ororo walked in with Scott and Jean. "It seems we have a bit of a problem. The latest Danger Room calibrations haven't been finished yet."

"Why not?" Xavier asked. 

"Uh well…" Scott scratched his head. "We kinda got a little sidetracked."

"We were working on them," Jean started to say. 

"That's not what I saw you doing," Ororo remarked as she took out a book. "This is what they've been studying."

"Let me guess, a book on Mutant Astrology? Oh Scott don't tell me you believe in this as well?" Xavier groaned.

"Well you gotta admit that some of this stuff makes sense," Scott told him. 

"Of course it does," Ororo smirked. "According to this you and Jean are the perfect match." 

Scott blushed a little. "It's not just that!" Jean covered. "There are a lot of interesting aspects."

"Well as interesting as those aspects are you shouldn't allow them to distract them from your duties," Xavier told them. 

"We're sorry Professor," Jean said. "It's just that we got to talking and…"

"And what were you discussing may I ask?" Hank raised an eyebrow.

"This ought to be good," Logan snickered. 

"Well we were uh…" Scott gulped. 

"We were thinking how nice it would be if you and Storm would go on a date," Jean admitted. "I mean your types are compatible."

"Is the entire mansion now conspiring to get us together?" Hank groaned. "Look as much as I appreciate your efforts, I can handle my own private life very well thank you."

"Since when?" Logan asked. 

"Shut up!" Hank gave him a withering glare. 

"I dunno Hank you have been going through quite a long dry spell if ya know what I mean," Logan remarked.

"How would you like your teeth to be…?" Hank made a fist.

"ENOUGH!" Xavier shouted. Then he settled down. "This conversation is over. Now if we can get back to more important matters…"

"For the last time Gambit our destinies are not written in the stars!" Rogue's voice could be heard outside. 

"Of course they are," Gambit followed her into the room.

"Professor would you please allow me to knock some sense into his empty head?" Rogue asked. 

"Now what are you two fighting about?" Logan asked. 

"I keep telling him that that book of Trinity's is nothing but hogwash!" Rogue grumbled. 

"It is not hogwash! Look at this, according to this you are a Moon type and Remy is a Sun type! According to this Moon and Sun types are perfectly compatible!" Remy said. "It's written in the stars, Chere." 

"Has everyone in this mansion suddenly taken leave of their senses?" Xavier groaned. 

"Well I don't believe in this nonsense," Rogue said.

"Thank you Rogue," Xavier sighed.

"According to this Kitty's a Moon type too! I am not anything like that flighty lunatic! I am not flighty!" Rogue snapped. "If anything I'm a Shadow type."

"You are not a Shadow type," Remy told her. "It says right here that absorption abilities are under the Moon type category." 

"Yeah but the personality's all wrong!" Rogue said. "I'm telling you I am a Shadow type!"

"Maybe you're a little bit of both?" Jean asked. "It's possible." 

"I don't believe this," Xavier groaned. 

"Neither do I," Hank looked at the book. "I would have sworn Rouge would be a Shadow type as well. But here it is in black and white, you're a Moon type Rogue." 

"I bet Magneto never has to deal with issues like this," Xavier groaned.

************************************************************************

"I swear Charles has all the luck!" Magneto growled. "He doesn't have to deal with the type of idiots I have to deal with!" 

He glared at his group of Acolytes and followers gathered around a computer. "If I wanted idiots in my employ I would still have the Brotherhood working for me!" Magneto growled. "I cannot believe you are all so fascinated by a fictitious system on some child's website!"

"Hey Trinity is smart Magneto you can't fault that," Pyro said. "They've come up with a great system."

"What system?" Sabertooth walked in the room. "What are they doing?"

"Pyro wanted to find a way to get that cute little new recruit to notice him," Cortez snickered. 

"And he's looking for romantic advice on a website?" Sabertooth asked.

"Not just any website," Pyro said. "Remember Trinity?"

"Vividly," Sabertooth growled.

"Well they came up with this system of Mutant Astrology," Pyro said.

"And according to this your relationship is doomed from the beginning," Cortez gloated. "She's a Wind sign." 

"NO!" Pyro remarked.

"Oh yes," Cortez laughed. "Face it sparkplug, she's never going to be yours!" 

"Oh this I gotta see," Sabertooth shoved Pyro over and read what was on the screen. 

"I can't believe that we're not compatible," Pyro groaned. "Just because she's a Wind sign!" 

"Well fire and wind is a lousy combination of you think about it," Mastermind told him. 

"Yeah I guess that does make sense," Pyro groaned. 

"You do realize that you are all basing this on some scribblings made by a group of children?" Magneto asked. "Then again considering your collective intelligence…" 

"According to this," Sabertooth read. "Shapeshifters are Body types and Body types do not react well with Beast types. In fact, they are probably the worst combination of all types. This combination will produce constant fighting and possibly inferior children." 

"Oh for crying out loud!" Magneto groaned. "That is the biggest load of garbage I have ever heard!" 

"I dunno," Sabertooth sniffed. "This thing would have saved me a heck of a lot of trouble if I had it way back. In fact it does explain quite a few things in my case." 

"I am not here," Magneto rubbed his temples. "I am not here…" 

"Hey according to this that cute new recruit is my type!" Sabertooth smiled. "Uh I gotta go check on something…"

"Hey!" Pyro shouted. "Okay that's it! Where's that e-mail address! I need some serious advice here!" 

"You're just figuring this out now?" Cortez smirked. 

"Why I hate the Misfits reason number 62…" Magneto put his head in his hands. 


End file.
